I wish I could teleport
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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