How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
