isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
