Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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