I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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