Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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