I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
