yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
