And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
BRING THE BAGELS
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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