Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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