I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
