every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
