my mouth tastes like poor choices
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
