I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize