My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
