Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
