How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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