Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
