Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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