he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
We are two peas in an std pod
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
