Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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