omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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