So drunk its hurt
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
