I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
