I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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