is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
