I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize