My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
