sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize