Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
