the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
