I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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