so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
