No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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