Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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