11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
