But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
