I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
