i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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