Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
