I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
