PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
