I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
