if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
