He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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