I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
