she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize