i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
