I didn't shave. On purpose
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
