remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
