By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize