Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
