Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
