Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
