i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
