I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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