This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
