perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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