Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
