yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
