Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
