Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
