this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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