I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
