now i know why i became what i already was.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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