Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
There r osticjed everywhere
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
