Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
