just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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