Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
