make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
