Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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