At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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