I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize