That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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