No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
