Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
