You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
