We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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