David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
