i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
