I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
