I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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