the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
