I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
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