Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
