so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize