i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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