My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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